Most parents at some stage are facing their children’s annoying habits or behaviors, whether it is a toddler who continually whines, a school-aged child who leaves clothes lying around or a teenager who uses a less than pleasant vocabulary.

There will be more than one response to face those children. Whether you ignore them or you face them patiently. But you as the parents have to ask yourself first why the child is doing the annoying behaviors and is that reasonable or not for the child’s age. It is also useful to take into account the child’s current state of mind and what is going in on their lives that may be related to some unusual behavior to occur at home.

These four principles can help you to improve your children’s behavior to a better stage.

1. Principle One: Change Your Initial Response First

This is important because children’s behavior generally requires a pay-off, which may be your attention or an attempt to defeat you. The most important principle about changing children’s behavior is to change your own behavior first. So, if your child’ whines (a child’s version of water torture) to get his own way refrain from answering back or giving in.

2.       Principle two: Practice with Your Child the Behavior that You Want

The notion of behavior rehearsal is fundamental to learning a new behavior. Don’t just tell kids what you expect, get them to practice the behavior you want. In the example of a young whiner – get him to practice asking for help or a treat in a normal voice.

3. Principle three: Minimize the Behavior You Don’t Want

That means when children continue their old behavior despite your brilliant suggestions ignore it, sidestep it or implement a consequence but don’t nag or harp on it. Remember it takes time often to change a behavior, particularly if it has been happening for a long time.

4. Principle four: Spotlight the Appropriate Behavior

When your children behave in the desired way, show your sincere appreciation. We often take children for granted or rather we are trained to give children no attention when they are good, but plenty when they are less than perfect. The behaviors we focus on expand so we need to focus our attention on desirable behaviors more than on the negative behaviors. For our young whiner it is essential to make a fuss when he uses a normal voice to get what he wants.

But remember, you have to be patient whenever you face the annoying behaviors that your children do and tell them the correct one. DO NOT use any violence to teach them a lesson, use the loving and caring way for them. It doesn’t mean you spoil them, but you have to do it with the right way.

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